How to Copy and Paste

“If I could use words

Like scattering flowers and falling leaves,

What a bonfire my poems would make.” - Mariko, Shogun

Not Like Us (Verse 3)

Once upon a time, all of us was in lanes

Homie doubled down sayin I have all the fame

Milpitas was the Mecca, throwin strikes and closin frames

Bear with me for a second, let me put y'all on game

Bowlero was usin' league-dues to make 'em richer

Fast-forward, 2024, Tony had the same agenda

You run to BSL when you need a check balance

Let me break it down for you, this the real commish challenge

You called Johnny when you couldn’t call Cathy up (Ayy, what?)

Hey B can you call your friends? No one says wassup (What?)

Vinh gave you false street cred

Always mad at Lyn when she photoshop your head (Ayy, what?)

You said Pokemon follow me, it's time to ride(What?)

But how you tryna lead when you bowl in size 5s

You run to BSL when you needa feel like a baller

No, you not a colleague, you a fuckin' colonizer

(Please Like My Sport - Ethan Strauss)

The more I think about it, the more I doubt my first instinct on how to respond to Tony. My initial impulse, as an occasional Sports Business Journalism Man, was an appeal to substance. Take the NBA. If you follow the league, you’ll notice it transforms in response to dips in popularity. If the NBA was growing, there’s no tournament within the season, no play-in playoff structure, and probably no Mark Cuban selling the Mavericks. These are massive changes for a league that’s operated more or less the same way for decades. So, from a media perspective, if you care about the NBA, you care about how it gets altered, which is all informed by how many people care about it.

I believe it’s not uncommon for fans of a sport to want that sport thriving. So the answer to “Why do you care?” is this: Because it’s normal to care. While “please like my sport” is mocked on the internet as an attitude, it’s pretty understandable. We like to see the growth of what we like. Why? For a variety of reasons, but to my mind, with sports, it’s mostly because it’s enjoyable to watch a big happening that connects you to others. The bigness of an event alters its very nature, often enhancing it. Taylor Swift’s Eras tour was such a phenomenon in part because it became such a phenomenon. The hype built on itself and the attendees were primed to be a part of something special. 

(Le Intro)

We were there when Van almost threw a perfect game and set the league record for highest game (278). With 9 strikes in a row, all eyes on him, whole alley silent. Van was not able to go the distance, but regardless we all cheered as though he did. 

We recorded history when Johnny, a player on one of the losing-est teams in BSL, stole the #1 raw pins season total from Jimmy “the glitch”. 

We play this game so we can witness one of the greatest BSL finals between Team Rocket and The Purple Cobras in 2021 (Damn, sorry Jimmy). 

(Original content)

I’m sometimes accused of hating BSL because I don’t enjoy aspects of its recent leadership, but the truth is that my sensitivity to what I dislike is connected to caring about its resonance. The commissioners' job to establish a league was solved by season 3. There’s no more templates to create, no more spreadsheets to make, no more rules to adjust. The job is one of leadership and guidance. It’s to present the magic that filled our hearts with awe 8 years ago.  It’s to help people connect the threads that will weave the story of season 8. It’s to shepherd the flock to that fateful day at the end of the season where we all stand around with sad faces. Sad because this wasn’t your year. Sad because it’s over. But Mostly, sad because next year can’t come soon enough. I don’t know if you can do the job, but it’s too late for all of that. You deliver the greatest season BSL has ever seen or I promise you…

Ezekiel 25:17

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the creator when I lay my vengeance upon you."